My Journey with Obesity:

Fat Acceptance or A Word to the Non-Understanding

Overweight, fat, obese people are often treated with disdain and disgust.  Even though our society now views alcoholism as a disease and worthy of compassion and understanding, those of us whose addiction often is more visible than some others are frequently considered to be lazy, stupid, dirty, undisciplined and generally worthless.  I personally am very easily angered by the person in the supermarket or department store who sees an overweight person and in their eyes display a look that says loud and clear, "Why don't you do something about yourself?"

Let me state some facts for that type of person to consider. 

1. Being overweight has nothing to do with intelligence.  Many overweight people who have not fit into society very well are often overachievers in other areas in order to compensate.  As I have related, I have had a problem with food most of my life and yet I was in the top 10% of my high school graduating class, was graduated from college magna cum laude, went back to college after being out of school for over 10 years and scored higher on the final exam than any other student in the class of 117.  My story is not unique; we often go to great lengths to prove our worthiness.  I also have started my own business and operated it with much success for almost two years. 
   
2. Being overweight has nothing to do with cleanliness.  We are aware that hygiene is more of a problem because of our extra pounds and often go to greater efforts to ensure we don't carry odors around us that many average-sized people. 
   
3. We certainly are not lazy! Many people imagine that obese people sit around all day watching soap operas and popping Moon Pies in our mouths.  Oh, contrare! If you are an average size and have never carried a lot of extra weight, imagine that someone straps another person weighing the same as you onto your back.  You are required to carry this person with you everyday, all day, in every activity.  When you walk through the grocery store, he is there; when you go to a movie and try to fit into a seat, he is there; when you climb stairs, you aren't lifting 120 pounds with each step but rather 240 pounds with each step; when you walk across a parking lot, you continue to carry him on your back. 

   However, in spite of the fact that you have this burden on you, you get married, have a family, go to work everyday with as much regularity as the thin person who sits in the cubicle next to you; are active in your kids school activities and even help out in the school play or lead the annual candy drive; you attend church every Sunday and maybe even several times during the week and teach a Sunday school class and sing in the choir.  And, you go home every evening and make dinner and bathe the children and help them with their homework and clean house and wash clothes and decorate the Christmas tree and die Easter eggs and do all the thousands of things thin people do.  How much extra effort do you suppose the obese person has to expend to do the same activities as the thin? Does twice as much sound reasonable? Sometimes I think thin people ought to do twice as much before they can catch up to us! Please walk one mile in our shoes before you judge. 

4. And, please consider that while we have a problem which is more obvious that some others, most people battle with something - cigarrettes, alcohol, temper, abusiveness to others, gossiping, stealing, lieing, etc.  However, these tend to be more subtle and are more generally accepted by society.  Why, I ask? In my opinion, obesity should be recognized as a handicap just as is being blind or deaf or a paraplegic.  You may still argue that an obese person caused the problem for himself and therefore deserves no special privileges.  How about the person who was driving under the influence of alcohol and wrecked his car and damaged himself so badly that he can no longer walk? Is he exempt? What about the alcoholic who receives monthly government financial support because he chooses to continue to drink? Is he exempt? (In my opinion, this is unfair to the working American public and an unwise use of our tax money, but that's another issue.  ) Do we tell these people they aren't welcome on a public beach because when we look at their physical handicap, we are offended? We look on these people with disdain and scorn; we open doors for them, move aside in stores, and assist them in any way we can.  Why not the obese man or woman who is having a difficult time getting around in the department store? I have been at the beach in my heaviest state since it's my favorite place in the world, and had smark-aleck young adults pass by and make hurtful comments under their breath but just loud enough so they'd be sure I'd hear.  And, may I add, the fact that they had had large amounts of alcohol and were acting like jerks was offensive to me? Do people like this think we are deaf or have no feelings?
   
5. Life in general is at least twice as hard for the obese person as it is for most of the rest of society and yet, for the most part, we "get no respect" as Rodney Dangerfield likes to say.  I know those jerks at the beach never once thought about the fact that it quite an effort for me to hike down to the beach and that it takes a lot of courage to do that.  I also think often that we work very hard in our battle with food and sometimes are achieving great successes in our lives.  I always want to ask them what they have done in the past year to improve themselves in the least. 
   
6. Yes, I'm on my soapbox but it's long overdue for these things to be spoken.  The first step of the journey to making friends with food is to accept yourself as you are.  That's a hard one when most of the world is echoing the feelings you already have that you are worthless and somehow a second-rate citizen. 

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